Home Is Where The Heart Is
by LoverofanAngel
Summary: AU! No Curse - Emma runs from Storybrooke as a teenager where she left Killian and her family. Now 10 years later, she's back but everyone and everything has changed...The people she left behind aren't the same she comes back to. Rated M for possible future chapters but subject to change. Started as a CS Secret Santa Prompt but got a bit out of hand. Hope you enjoy!
1. Amnesia

**My first Fanfic. Hopefully I can do this right and it's not a complete mess.**

 **It was inspired by a prompt but the muse might have gotten a little out of hand.**

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 _ **I remember the day you told me you were leaving**_  
 _ **I remember the make-up running down your face**_  
 _ **And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them**_  
 _ **Like every single wish we ever made**_  
 _ **I wish that I could wake up with amnesia...**_

 _ **'Cause I'm not fine at all**_

 _"Emma!" She ignored the voice calling her. She wouldn't turn around. She wouldn't let him see her crying. She didn't have a home here, they didn't want her here. She'd seen the paperwork in Ingrid's bag, she was being sent back. Again. After months of happiness she was being sent away because they didn't want her. No one had ever wanted her so why was here any different. Stupid, stupid girl, she was so stupid._

 _"Emma. Emma. Just wait" A hand grabbed her arm and she spun around, wrenching her arm from his grip. There was no way he wasn't going to see her tears. He ran a hand through his hair, swearing under his breath._

 _"What's wrong? What happened?" Emma shook her head, not trusting herself to speak._

 _"Nothing. Go away Killian" Her words were harsh and guarded. Killian had a family; he had people who wanted him. He didn't understand what it was like to lose everyone, to not be wanted, to be unlovable._

 _"Don't lie to me. You're horrible at it." She glared at him, the tears had slowed and almost dried, no doubt her makeup was a streaked mess and her mascara was ruined. She hated him seeing her like this, she hated him seeing her so broken and damaged._

 _"I'm leaving" she didn't meet his eyes, preferring to stare at the ground below her feet. She didn't risk losing herself in the grey tinge of the concrete, not like she does with his blue eyes. She doesn't want to lose herself in his eyes, so she keeps her head bowed_

 _"Emma" He lifted her chin with his thumb and forefinger, she refused to look at him though and he just sighed "Look at me...please" Her breath hitched, the tears falling again and she finally met his eyes. They're a stormy blue-grey that she's begun to recognize as a sign of his anger and frustration. She swallows thickly around the sudden lump in her throat. And she almost tells him why she's leaving. Almost._

 _"I'm leaving Killian and there's nothing you can do about it." It's a partial lie she knows he could stop her if he really wanted to, if she wanted to let him but she's can't because if she stays he'll leave. He'll leave just like Neal left and she can't survive that. Emma pulls away from him steeling herself to do what she knew she had to_

 _"_ _You don't know what it's like and I don't expect you to know. I don't expect you to understand. You have Liam and Milah. You have a family and people who love you. You have the perfect life, you don't need me sticking around. I'm a bull in a china shop Killian, I'll destroy it all so just let it go. Let me go." Killian's jaw dropped, he looked shocked for a moment. Emma watched as it turned to anger, they both knew his life was anything but perfect. She knew he was having problems with Milah, she knew that Liam was being deployed again. That's why they were friends in the first place. Killian understood what it was like to different. Emma watched as Killian took a step back, shaking his head but before he could speak she turned on her foot and ran, she was good at that. She had always been good at running. It wasn't like anyone was going to chase her, no one ever had and they never would._


	2. Author's Note

Okay I was hoping to make this so I could update daily but the Muse is fighting with me a kicking my ass, we're kinda arguing over where this story should go, I think I may or may not have about 3-4 stories developing in my head right now and although THIS is my main concern it might take a few days to sort it out as I'm very loyal to the way the Eddy and Adam write the Characters and develop them.

So my honour/loyalty is fighting with the muse. I'm also a perfectionist so my apologies this is such a slow process atm.

I'm searching for a Beta in hope of helping me out a little. I appreciate all the reviews and the support so far. I don't plan to abandon this story so please be patient as I try my best to do this! Thank you so much for everyone who reads!


	3. I Never Told You (Part One)

_**I see your blue eyes  
Every time I close mine  
You make it hard to see  
Where I belong to  
When I'm not around you  
It's like I'm not with me - 'I Never Told You' - Colbie Caillat **_

Lightning flashes across the sky, illuminating the ** _Welcome to Storybrooke_** sign as the little yellow bug passes by. Thunder rumbles soon after, informing the driver that the storm was closer than she'd imagined. She nudges a dial, pushing the windshield wipers to their highest setting as the rain pelts down a little bit harder than before. She swears she's been driving for hours, it had seemed like a good idea when she'd received the phone call earlier in the night but thinking about it now Emma Swan wasn't ready to admit that she had been a bit too ready to jump at the opportunity to return to the small town in Maine. If there's one thing that Emma would never admit openly was that there is a part of her that has been waiting for a reason to return. That part of her had taken over when Regina had called her earlier in the night and it was the part of her that was to blame for her agreeing to go back. If she was being honest with herself (which she wasn't because she just wasn't quite ready to open that can of worms), her easy acceptance may have had something to do with a stupid childish hope that she'd run into a certain blue eyed devil.

 _Don't think about it. Don't think about him_ she tells herself, turning her attention back to the road. It's late, almost midnight, but it doesn't bother Emma in the least because Regina had promised to wait up when Emma had told her she'd make the trip tonight. In the ten years she'd been gone Regina was the only person she'd stayed in contact with, and that was only due to the fact Regina was raising their son. The memories flood her mind.

Emma had been 18 and in trouble with the law when she found out she was pregnant with Henry, scared and alone she'd reached out to the only person who could have helped in the situation. Regina convinced her mother Cora to take on Emma's case pro bono, as Regina had explained later, she owed Emma for helping get her mother to accept her engagement to Daniel and somehow Emma and Regina had become fast friends, from there Regina had agreed to raise Henry while Emma found work, completed school and created a stable lifestyle, except Emma had never found anywhere she liked a place she could call home. So Regina had raised Henry and she'd made sure she and Henry came to visit Emma as often as possible although Emma never went to visit them in the small town, despite Regina's requests. Not until now.

It's not until she pulls up outside the house that Emma begins to relax, a small smile on her face. It's a bit larger than she expected, two stories with some beautiful green hedges providing a little privacy for the front yard. The house itself is white and resembles a small mansion in Emma's opinion. She turns off the car and climbs out, locking the door behind her before heading to the front door. After the monumental failure of her relationship with Walsh, she'd decided maybe spending some time with her family was a good idea.

Emma knocks on the door lightly, praying she won't wake Henry. Regina and Emma had agreed not to tell Henry she was coming; he could wake in the morning and be surprised. At ten years of age Henry was intelligent, resourceful and quick witted. Emma could barely believe so much time had passed so quickly.

"Emma" Regina smiles warmly as she opens the door, ushering her friend inside "You're wet" she scolds the blonde who smiles sheepishly in response. Regina ushers her best friend inside, planting her in front of the fire in the lounge room with the promise of returning with hot cocoa and a blanket. The short run from her car to the front door of Regina's place left Emma soaked to the bone and shivering. She doesn't speak a word as Regina fusses around her but she does take off her jacket and boots as per requested, curling up under the blanket, accepting the mug of hot cocoa before settling back into the cushions, staring at the flames dancing in the fireplace.

"So what happened?" Regina asks softly, her own mug of cocoa resting on her knees as she stares intently at Emma, noticing the dark circles under her eyes and the pale complexion that's just a little too dull, it speaks volumes of her best friend's exhaustion.

"Walsh asked me to marry him" her voice is brittle and weak, it speaks of her own emotional state but she refuses to hide from Regina, as much as a small part of her wants to raise her defences and hide, Emma won't do that to Regina though she's been there for her through everything. God she's raised Henry practically alone and never once has she doubted Emma's place in their son's life.

"You were in New York for a year and a half" _one of your longest stints_ the words are unspoken but both women know what Regina's referring too. The tears slowly gather behind her eyes and begin to fall and she lets them, unable to gather the strength to stop the flow.

"I know but I wasn't ready," Emma took a mouthful of the hot cocoa, hoping to sooth her aching heart "I loved him, I really did" her voice was shaking, the words fracturing like her own heart "but he was asking for so much and when I said no" a sob racked her body and suddenly Regina was there, taking the mug from Emma's hands and placing it on the coffee table before sitting next to her and wrapping her up in her arms. The tears fell freely, sobs racking Emma's body, another failed relationship. This one her own fault, she was heartbroken he'd left but why couldn't he have understood _she just wasn't ready._

"He called me damaged" she gasps "He told me his assistant agreed with him" she felt Regina tense "he was sleeping with her you know?" Emma mumbled, the tears slowing "we hadn't had sex in two months" Regina snorted

"So why did he ask you to marry him?" Emma lifts her head from where it had been resting on Regina's shoulder and glares into the flames.

"He said he thought I'd make a good housewife" the pain slowly turned to anger as she recalled the ending argument "he told me that I could give up my job as a bail bonds person and finally settle down. He didn't even ask what I wanted" Regina stood, scoffing in annoyance as walks to the chair she'd been sitting in minutes before, picking up her cocoa and taking a sip.

"I hope you punched him"

"I did" Emma confirms with a satisfied grin, "but only after he tried to stop me from leaving, god I didn't ever think he could be like that" Regina smiles sadly in return and they sit there in silence for a few minutes.

"I had another reason for calling you" the brunette admits, Emma raises her eyebrow in question but says nothing. "I need your help to investigate the death of the town's sheriff"

"What happened?" Emma's curiosity is quipped, she can't help it even if she doesn't have any really power here she wants to be able to help. It might be able to distract her from the complete and utter failure that is her life at the moment.

"You remember Graham?" Emma nods, they hadn't been overly close. Growing up she'd known he'd had a crush on her but he'd sort of creeped her out.

"Well he was found by the docks, shot" Emma's heart clenches at the mention of the docks, it was the place where _they_ use to hang out after school. "He was also tortured" Emma frowns, it sounds like something that should have occurred in Boston not the small town of Storybrooke.

"Why?" The question sounds like something Henry would ask but she's struggling to form complete sentences. Murder, Torture...it's baffling that something like that could occur in Storybrooke of all places, she just can't get her head around it.

"Graham was..." Regina struggles to find the words, she sighs "Graham and I were seeing each other" she explains. Emma frowns, confused.

"Okay..." She places her empty cup on the table in front of her, slightly surprised she'd managed to finish it without realising it "but that doesn't explain why someone would want to kill him, let alone torture him" Regina shifts uncomfortably and her best friend takes pity on her.

"Perhaps we should just go to bed" Emma offers, standing up "I'll shower and sleep in the guest room, we can talk in the morning after we take Henry to school?" Both women know it'll be difficult to get the ten year old boy to school once he knows Emma's here but she thinks the promise of dinner at Granny's and ice cream at Any Given Sunday should be enough to get him through the day. Regina looks at Emma, and nods slowly in agreement.

"Okay" she says slowly "let me just clean up down here, and I'll bring you a towel as soon as I'm done" Emma gives her a small smile before nodding in agreement. She quickly ducks back out to the Bug where her bag is, sometime while they were talking it had stopped raining, Emma ignores the boxes in the back seat and locks the bug before returning to the house.

Once Regina's shows her where the bathroom is and points out the guest room, she closes the bathroom door and leans against it, sighing.

She knows why Regina has asked for her help, she knows that her best friend worries about her and Henry, Emma know but it still doesn't stop her from feeling like this. She's exhausted, there's a feeling that she's been battling with since she ran away ten years ago. It's like there's a part of her that's missing, like she has this huge gaping hole in her sole, or perhaps it's her heart, she's not too sure anymore. The feeling's almost become a normal part of her, and she really doesn't want to do this, she doesn't want to get involved but Emma know that Regina wouldn't have asked if she had any other option.

She pushes off the wall and walks to the shower, turning it onto the highest heat setting she can handle, stripping off she steps into the spray and tries to wash away the events of the past forty eight hours. She washes away Walsh and his hurtful words, she washes away the thoughts of blue eyes that have haunted her for a decade, she washes away what she can before climbing out.

When she finally crawls into bed her mind is silent but she still falls into an uneasy sleep.

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 **A/N: Sorry for the short chapter, I'll get some more up but let me know what you think.**


	4. I Never Told You (Part Two)

**A/N: Hi guys, so most of my stories have been put on pause indefinitely but I was reading over this chapter, I've edited it and decided to post it.**

 **Writers block and a handful of health issues has made it increasingly difficult to write especially on a story I enjoy and love so much, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Sorry it's so short guys. Hopefully I can add more soon.**

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 _ **All I knew this morning when I woke  
Is I know something now, know something now I didn't before.  
And all I've seen since eighteen hours ago  
Is green eyes and freckles and your smile  
In the back of my mind making me feel like  
I just wanna know you better,**_

 **\- 'Everything has changed' Taylor Swift ft. Ed Sheeran**

 _She's sitting there in shock, a million and one thoughts running through her head. Ingrid had wanted to adopt her, not kick her out. Neal had set her up rather than have an honest conversation with her. God why was she always so stupid? She never should have taken those watches from the bus station, she never should have trusted Neal. Emma's head shoots up when the door opens, Cora walks in and gives her a stiff smile._

 _"It's time to go Miss Swan" her voice is cool, there's no pity in her eyes and it makes Emma feel slightly better "My daughter says you might want somewhere to stay for a while?"_

 _"I'm not going back to Storybrooke" the words are harsher than Emma intends, but the more time she's had to think about it, the more she realises she doesn't want to go back there. She can't, she doesn't want to see, let alone face, the people she left behind. She doesn't want to see Ingrid, Ruby, Mary Margaret, David or...Killian. She really doesn't want to face their pity and disappointment. She doesn't want to hear Killian lecture her on how Neal had always been bad for her and she never should have chased after him in the first place, how she should be with someone who looks after her, like he does, except Killian doesn't want her like that, he has Milah. She feel nauseous at the thought and her resolve steals further, no she won't go back there._

 _"I expected as much, I have an apartment in Boston I occasionally use when I work here, you and my daughter will stay there, I expect you to find work and make something of yourself. Do you understand me Miss Swan? You are not a charity case, you are going to work this off to me by making sure you never find yourself in a situation like this again. Are we clear? Because I won't be helping you like this again Miss Swan" Emma nods, something in Cora's voice making her sit up straighter and square her shoulders "Your record will be expunged, the last eleven months will be written off. Now get up, we have to go, I have another appointment and not a moment to waste" Emma stands in a daze, and follows Cora out through the doors._

 _Once they arrive at the apartment Cora grabs Emma's arm to stop her from climbing out of the car "Just a moment dear" She tilts her head "You aren't a charity case Miss Swan but I do expect repayment for this" before Emma can open her mouth to say she'll get the money Cora shakes her head "I don't mean money dear, one day I'm going to need your assistance," Cora looks at something over Emma's shoulder, "my daughter will need your help and I expect you to help when that day comes. Despite any and all personal costs, am I clear?" Emma nods again, unable to think of anything to say in response._

 _"Good, now get out of my car," Doing as she's told, Emma scrambles out of the car, almost falling flat on her face and as soon as the door is shut, the car roars to life and Cora's gone. Emma looks towards the building. Regina's standing there with a meek smile on her face, movements slow and calculated, as if she's approaching a wounded animal, probably an accurate assumption Emma thinks. She takes a deep breath before returning Regina's smile. Maybe things will get better. Her thoughts float back to a pair of blue eyes and her heart sinks, she can't think of him now, she can't think of what she did or about how she ruined everything._

The bedroom door slamming open jerks Emma awake and she blots upright, instinctively ready for a fight when a small body launches itself on top of her. Her breath whooshes out of her.

"Emma!" Henry's arms are wrapped around her neck, his scent hits her nose and she instantly relaxes, no one's going to hurt her. She's safe. "Mum just told me you were here and I thought she was joking because you never come here but you're actually here," The words rush out of his mouth, the kid barely taking time to breath, "she said you arrived last night while I was asleep, why didn't you wake me up? You should have woken me up! I would have loved to see you last night, why didn't you wake me?" he hops off the bed and crosses his arms across his chest, glaring at her like she's committed some horrible sin. It takes her a moment to jump start her brain.

"It was late kid" She finally says "I thought it could wait until morning"

"I made the mistake of thinking it could wait until you woke up" Regina stands in the doorway and points an accusing finger at Henry "you. downstairs and finish your breakfast, your mother can walk you to school afterwards" Henry glares at both women for another moment before breaking into a smile and giving Emma another hug. Regina gives his hair an affectionate ruffle as he runs past, both women smiling fondly as Henry shouts in disapproval, already halfway down the stairs.

"God I forgot how much of a morning person he is" mumbles Emma "he certainly doesn't get it from me" she slowly climbs out of bed, stretching. Regina clears her throat.

"I still need to talk to you after you walk Henry to school" Emma nods, in response already looking for the duffel bag she'd brought in last night, "there's coffee downstairs" Regina says as she departs.

Emma can't stop thinking about her dream, so she just waves, telling her best friend to go. She's never mentioned the conversation she had with Cora that day, not to Regina or to anyone else. Could Cora have told someone? She doubts it. Perhaps this is what she'd been talking about, Regina use to joke that her mother had been psychic. Cora had basically predicted her own death, it was eerie to say the least and here Emma was, dreaming of a conversation she'd long since forgotten the night after Regina had asked for her help.

She signs, she was going to help Regina whether she wanted to or not because that's what friends did. Emma began pulling on clothes and making the bed, she wandered down the stairs and towards the kitchen.

"Henry put your shoes on please!" Emma smiles at the sound of Regina scolding the young boy. She can't hear his mumbled response but she chuckles as she enters the kitchen, Regina is loading the dishwasher with the breakfast dishes and rolling her eyes at Emma.

"I swear you two are as stubborn as each other" Regina smiles, straightening and leaning back against the counter. "How are you coping?" Emma bites her lips, debating on how to answer.

"It hurts" she replies honestly "but I've been through worse, we both know I wasn't completely committed to the relationship. His words hurt and I did love him, just...not as much as I loved...in the past" Both women know what she's referring two, they watch Henry tie his shoes at the foot of the stairs before he bounds to hit feet, bag in hand and runs to Emma's side.

"So" He states cheerily "you ready to go mom?" Emma smiles at him, looking to Regina who waves them both off.

"Sure kid, lets go" Emma wraps an arm around his shoulders as she walks him out the front door, promising to meet Regina soon after she's done dropping Henry off. It's a very domestic feeling, Emma thinks to herself as she leads Henry down towards the footpath, one she could get used to if she allowed herself.


	5. Hot Cocoa

**A/N: Just a quick chapter, not long at all but something I wrote in a hurry. Hopefully things start to get moving in the next chapter or two.**

 **Again I apologise for the long hiatus, hopefully you enjoy it.**

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"So what's news around town kid?" Emma asks as they head towards the school, she hopes that in his excitement Henry won't be as observant as he normally is, it's easier to find out information from the ten year old then it is from Regina. He's less likely to interrogate her.

"I heard Mr. Nolan got a promotion, he's was going to move to Boston but he's staying now cause he's sheriff!" Henry's tone is excited, he skips a few steps ahead of Emma, walking backwards as he talks to her, his arms playing with the straps of his school bag.  
"Miss Blanchard, who's a teacher at my school, she's helping me build a birdhouse! Mom says we can hang it in any tree I want in the yard! Except her apple tree of course!" Henry stops and gives Emma a curious look.  
"Can we stop for cocoa this morning?" Emma smiles at him,

"Of course" Henry beams

"Granny's is over here!" He bolts off down the street, barely looking at his surroundings. He darts down towards a diner and up the stairs, Emma following him with a chuckle. He yanks open the door and goes to charge through it but is stopped but a man coming out through the door, the two almost colliding into each other.

"Jesus Henry, are you alright, I almost hit you there!" Emma recognises the voice, as she enters the diner behind Henry slowly and she can't keep the smile from her face "Your mom would have roasted me alive..." His voice trails off when he's eyes land on Emma.  
"I'll be damned" before she can say a word, Emma's wrapped up in a bear hug. She returns it, hesitantly "Sister! You're back! Never thought I'd see this day"

"it's good to see you too Leroy," Emma chuckles, it surprises her slightly that she's happy to see the old grump but out of all the people she could have run into, Leroy isn't the worst.

"We're getting Cocoa!" Henry explains as he runs up to the counter and takes a seat.

"I'll let you get to it then, good to have you back sister" Leroy says as he leaves the diner, whistling.

"That is the cheeriest I've ever seen that man" Granny says, hands on her hips "Now. I heard a young man say something about Hot Cocoa to go?" The was nothing but love in the look that Granny was giving Henry, warmth blossoming in Emma's chest at the sight of her son being greeted so warmly by one of the scariest women Emma had ever met.

"Two please!" Henry cries in excitement, bouncing in his seat "both with whipped cream and cinnamon"

Emma practically jumps out of skin at the sound of crashing dishes. The entire diner falling silent as everyone turns towards the sound, the waitress who Emma recognises barely looks a day older than she had ten years ago, only now there's a red streak in her hair, her heels clear the rubble of her dropped tray as she steps over the mess and storms towards Emma.

"YOU!" Cries Ruby, for a moment Emma's terrified that Ruby is going to hit her but instead she's wrapped up in another huge hug "No phone calls, No forwarding address, no goodbye. Ten whole years and you come back without any warning! Everyone is going to flip! God you just missed Mary Margret and David! They're going to flip, and you've missed out on so much gossip, oh I'm going to have to fill you in! We need to have a girls night! I should invite Ashley and Mary Margret! I can't believe you didn't tell me! You should have told me Ems! God I've missed you, you have to tell me everything that's happened!" It took a moment for Emma's brain to catch up with what Ruby was saying "Did Regina know? Oh I bet she did? That witch! She should have told me! But that old queen would never tell us anything to do with you not even when we begged and you should have seen the way Killian begged her! Oh. My. God. Emma! We need to catch up as soon as possible, it was horrible after you left, I have to tell you all about it!"

"Let the girl breathe child!" Granny snaps from her place behind the counter, "and clean up this mess, you can gossip when you aren't on the clock!" Emma smiles gratefully at Granny, her hands suddenly shaking at the mention of his name. She tries to hide it as Ruby moves away to clean up the shattered cups and plates, throwing sass at her grandmother. Emma sits next to Henry, praying that the diner will pick up normal conversation soon, Granny hands them their hot cocoas and winks at Emma.

"I put a little something extra in there for you" she whispers "should help with the nerves" Emma smiles gratefully as she takes a mouthful, the hint of rum tingling on her tongue. Emma pulls out some money to pay for the drinks but Granny waves her off.

"A welcome back, on the house" Emma smiles, and gathers Henry to go, if she doesn't hurry he'll be late to school.

"Emma?" She pauses at the door and looks back at Granny "do you have somewhere to stay? We have rooms if you need one?" Emma smiles back at Granny, the old woman always looked out for her.

"I'm staying with Regina, I'll only be here for two weeks but it should be okay, thank you though" Granny nods and waves goodbye

"Don't forget to call!" Calls Ruby as they leave, Emma waves a hand at her in agreement.

"You okay?" Henry asks as they head towards the school, Emma looks at him, taking another mouthful from the cup in her hand, thinking over how to answer. She's never lied to the kid, nor does she want to.

"You just seemed to be upset when Ruby mentioned Killian" Emma bit her lip "it's okay if you don't wanna talk about it" Henry smiled, tossing his empty cup into a bin as he passed. Emma ruffled his hair as they arrived at the school.

"I'll see you later then kid, I'll take you for dinner at Granny's and then dessert too" Henry's eyes light up at the mention of dinner.

"Can I get Granny's lasagna!?" He asks in excitement, Emma chuckles.

"As long as you eat it all" Henry nods, a sudden serious expression on his face.

"I'd never waste Granny's cooking!" Henry hugs Emma quickly as the bell rings, before dashing off towards the school doors. "See you after school!" he calls over his shoulder.

Emma watches him for a moment longer, a small smile on her face, before turning away and heading off to her meeting with Regina.


	6. Haunting

**I'm so so sorry for the long gaps between these chapters but I've been having health issues and writers block and things are a bit hectic but here is Chapter 6, I hope you enjoy, it's a bit of a long one but hopefully that makes up for not writing for ages :)**

* * *

 ** _I've done some things that I can't speak_**  
 ** _And I've tried to wash you away but you just won't leave_**  
 ** _So won't you take a breath and dive in deep_**  
 ** _'Cause I came here so you'd come for me_**

 ** _\- 'Haunting'_ Halsey**

"What's the news then Regina?" Emma collapses into the chair across from Regina's desk, she knows she's being callus considering the circumstances but the longer she's in this town the edgier she feels. It's not her fault. Really, it isn't. The woman in question sits across from Emma with a look of displeasure.

"Emma, a lot has changed since you were last in Storybrooke," Regina hesitates "the people have changed, there's stories you don't know yet so you have to tread carefully"

Emma stares at her friend more closely, and for the first time she notices the dark circles under her eyes and the heavy set of her shoulders.

"What's going on?"

"Emma, I'm going to have to ask you to do something you aren't going to like"

"I never like that sentence" her words are honest, even though Emma can't recall the last time anyone said that sentence to her, they still make her shift uncomfortably in her seat.

"I'm sorry but I can't avoid it Emma, David is the sheriff of the town and you're going to have to work with him" Emma hesitates, it was uncomfortable sure but even she could admit that it could be worse for her. She could be forced to work with...him.

"He's not...still mad is he?" Emma asks quietly, her fear of her friend's disappointment like an ice knife against her heart.

"I honestly don't know Emma, but between you and me...even if he is, he doesn't exactly have much moral ground to stand on after what he and Mary Margaret pulled" the way Regina lifts her nose in distaste tells Emma the two must have done something really bad. She can't help it, Emma leans forwards and ask the question burning on her lips.

"What on earth did David do to deserve that!?" Emma can't deny that she loves a good gossip, what small-town girl didn't? It was practically a part of her genetics. For a moment Regina looks reluctant to say anything but before Emma can push for more she notices the evil gleam in her best friends eyes.

"I should be above the gossip Emma, I'm mayor!" Regina sighs, yet the blonde isn't fooled in the slightest, she grins and makes a motioning signal with her hands.

"David was going to move to Boston with his wife, Kathryn" Emma pauses for a moment, confused.

"I always thought David would marry Mary Margaret" Regina waves her hand to shush her best friend

"Everyone thought that" Regina snaps "don't interrupt" her tone is scolding but Emma can see that the best part is coming. "Anyway, Kathryn wanted to move because she was worried David was getting too close to his old flame." Emma knew what her best friend would say next, she couldn't keep the laughter from bubbling up

"You offered him the promotion to keep him here!"

"He got the job because Graham died" Regina reminds her friend sullenly, the words sober Emma immediately.

"I'm so sorry Regina" damn it, she couldn't even do right by her best friend.

"David decided to stay after what happened, Kathryn didn't like it but she understood. Turned out David's been having an affair with Mary Margaret for about 2 months though. I saw them the other night," Regina snorts in disgust "for a pair who grew up in a small town you'd think they'd be better at hiding it, I caught them in Mary Margaret's front yard"

"No way!" Emma doesn't miss the fact Regina ignores her apology but tries not to let it bother her too much. Emma leans back in her chair, hesitating.

"I don't exactly have any grounds to judge them though, do I?" Emma's tone is soft, she doesn't have to elaborate and Regina doesn't ask her too.

"There's a difference though" Her friend's tone is defensive, just as it was when Emma had first told her what had happened. It brings a small smile to her lips but it doesn't completely remove the acidic self-loathing that burns her up inside.

"There's not too much difference, but look, I'll go head off and meet up with David now. Have a chat to him" Emma stands to go, he feet carrying her towards the door in hopes to escape the conversation.

"Emma!" Regina's voice pulls her back, there's a pause before her friend speaks carefully "I have to warn you about one other thing..." She knew it was coming, how could it not be?

"He's not here" Regina assures her, seeing the fear in her best friend's face "not at the moment, but he's due back" Regina hesitates "I don't know when but I've tried to keep your home coming a secret although in a town like this I doubt it will stay a secret"

"I'm not back" Emma snaps, defensively. Regina holds up her hands in surrender.

"No one is saying you are, but he's going to find out Emma and you're going to have to deal with it"

"Not if I'm already gone before he's back" the words are out before she can stop them and it pains her to see the hurt flash through her best friends eyes. Emma sighs, hanging her head in defeat. She hates hurting Regina, she hates hurting Henry, but she's not ready to face that part of her past. She's not completely sure she ever will be.

"He's stayed here for you, you know" the words are spoken coldly, and Emma knows it's Regina's way of reminding her that she knows just how to hurt Emma in return. The blonde could be mad but she knows her constant running hurts Regina, even more so it hurts Henry and that's the only thing Regina finds unforgivable.

"He's waited almost eleven years for you Emma, despite everything that's happened to him" Her words make Emma's head snap up.

"What do you mean?" But Regina only shakes her head.

"You can ask him" and with that Regina turns back to her paper work, waving a hand in dismissal towards Emma.

She leaves the office in a daze, her thoughts filled with Killian. She can remember where it all went wrong, when it all went wrong. A part of her wishes that she could forget, that she could remove the memory from her brain.

 _"Killian stop hogging the bottle!" She squeals, almost loosing her balance in attempt to reach the bottle he's holding just out of her reach._

 _"I think you've had enough lass" Emma notices that his accent is thicker when he's drunk, sexier too._

 _"you've had just as much as me, probably more" her words are slurring slightly, Emma scrunches her nose, trying to think through the fog of the alcohol._

 _"I'm Irish!" Killian says it so proudly, Emma can't help but snort._

 _"What does being a sexy Irishman have to do with it?" Killian smirks_

 _"obviously I can hold my liquor better, everyone knows that" he sways on his feet slightly, leaning towards her._

 _"Sexy Irishman?" He's voice drops, Emma's breath hitches and she forgets what she was going to say as she stares at his lips. Imagining what they'd feel like pressed against her own._

 _Her phone ringing breaks the spell and she picks it up. Seeing the caller ID she sighs and turns the phone off. She doesn't want to talk to David right now, she knows his worried but the last thing she needs right now is to be lectured on her drinking habits. She throws the phone onto the coffee table and collapses into the couch where Killian joins her, taking another swing from the bottle in his hand._

 _"Was that him?" There's a venomous tone to Killian's words, "I swear I'll kill him if he's bothering you" For a moment Emma wonders if he's pretending to be tipsy as Killian launches to his feet with a quick grace. Those thoughts are quickly squashed when he takes a few steps only to tumble to the ground, a bottle of spiced rum in his hand._

 _"Bloody fuck" he yells as he crashes to the ground. Emma launches over to him_

 _"Killian! Are you okay?" Her hands do a quick run over him_

 _"I'm bloody brilliant, love" he assures her "More than I can say for the rum though" he chuckles, Emma can't help but sit back on her heels and laugh. The practically empty bottle of rum lay empty next to him, broken._

 _"You managed to spill it all over yourself" She laughs, Killian stares at her with a soft look in his blue eyes._

 _"I love your laugh Swan" he murmurs, Emma pulls away from him as he reaches out to touch her. She might be drunk but she knows he's with Milah._

 _"I should get you cleaned up and home to Milah." Emma reminds him kindly as she starts to pick up the broken pieces of the bottle._

 _"don't do that love, you'll cut -"_

 _"Fuck!" She can feel the glass slice through her palm and for a moment there's no pain, that's how she knows it's bad. The stinging begins and Emma can't stop the curses falling from her lips. It would make a sailor blush. She dashes to the kitchen on weak legs, ignoring Killian all together now._

 _"Stupid fucking bottle" she exclaims, holding her hand over the sink,_

 _"Here love, let me look" Killian's voice is sure and steady. Again she wonders just how drunk he really is._

 _"It's nothing" she mutters, Killian ignores her and stands just behind her as he examines her hand over her shoulder, there's a flask in his hand which he pours over her wound, she jerks back, hitting his solid, admittedly wet frame and for a second she forgets her hand but almost instantly the pain is back and worse._

 _"What the hell was that?" She snaps, annoyed at herself for getting distracted._

 _"Rum" Killian chuckles, as if the answer should be obvious "and a bloody right waste of it" Emma slides out and away from him, glaring._

 _"Says the guy who smashed the bottle of rum" she snarks, perhaps it's irrational but suddenly she's angry. She'd been perfectly happy drinking alone before Killian turned up, they hadn't talked about how she'd been dumped, she hadn't mentioned that Neal asked her to run away with him or the fact she refused because she didn't want to leave Killian behind. She was pathetic, she always fancied Neal but Killian had been there for her since day one. Emma snorted, she was like one of those girls in the romance novels Mary Margaret was always reading. Pathetically in love with her best friend who was in love with someone else entirely._

 _"Emma, I need to tie this" Killian's voice gentle brought her back to the present. Emma said nothing as she watched him wrap the gauze around her hand, just before he tied it off his phone started to ring, but without missing a beat Killian put one end of the gauze in his mouth to tighten the knot as he reached into his back pocket to answer the phone._

 _"Aye?" He answered without taking his eyes off Emma, who shifted uncomfortably, trying desperately to ignore her growing desire. "She's here...yeah Dave she's safe...yeah yeah, bye" Killian chuckled and hung up._

 _"you ignored David's call" Killian's voice was soft, and he moved closer. Emma's breath shallow as he leans his head in, his lips inches from her own._

Arriving at the sheriffs department Emma shakes the memory from her mind. She's here to do a job, one that didn't involve drowning in the past. There is no way she can face Killian, not after what she did to him or what he did to her. It wasn't fair on either of them to revisit those mistakes.

She enters the station to find David looking stressed and muttering under his breath. She watches him with a small smile for a moment and she can't help but be reminded of him in high school, the nerdy brother of his twin, always struggling to impress their father.

As if he can sense her eyes on him, he straightens from his position and looks up at her, freezing for a moment before letting out an excited shout. Emma barely has time to compose herself before she's swept up in a giant bear hug.

Of all the greetings she's been expecting from David, this was not one of them but still she finds her arms wrapping around him and hugging him back, tears threatening to build and spill over.

"Jesus David," she chuckles "I wasn't expecting you to crush me" He puts her down and smiles at her with nothing but pure love, she searches for the lingering anger or even hatred but all she can see is love and joy in his expression. A small part of her brain whispers that this is family, this is what home should be like but Emma squashes the voice, knowing she can't stay here forever. Not if she's bound to run into Killian again.

"I'm excited to see you" he explains with a shrug "Regina called when you arrived and let me know to expect you" he grins and it's infectious in the best kind of way.

"I'm sorry it's not under better circumstances" her voice holds a small amount of sorrow, it's probably wrong of her to feel so happy to see David again but she didn't know Graham all that well, didn't know him well enough to feel the same sorrow that Regina and the others might feel.

David's expression sobers instantly but he doesn't say anything for a moment, rather leads her into his office and closes the door, indicating the seat across from him, Emma takes it and waits for David to collect his thoughts.

"Storybrooke is a small town Emma" He begins rubbing the back of his neck "I'm not entirely sure how to deal with something like this, we've never had to deal with anything close to this before" David looks at her and she can see the pleading desperation in his eyes.

"I find people" Emma begins carefully "I'm good at my job but I'm usually only looking for bail jumpers, not killers" Emma leans back and shakes her head. "I can definitely find any missing suspects but not sure how much help I can be in the investigative work. I might be able to call in some favours with folk on the police force..." Emma drifts off, the problem with calling in anyone from any of the bigger cities is they wouldn't understand the workings of a small town...Unless...

"I've already got someone on the evidence and autopsy" Emma raises her eyebrows in curiousity

"Who?"

"Dr. Whale"

Emma nods, it's a logical choice, Whale has worked in multiple areas of the medical profession before moving back to the small town to work at the local hospital.

"I could call in a few favours...maybe get August back into town" David looks curious but doesn't say anything on it.

"Whale and August will work well together, make the call" he nods, as if thinking it through. Emma smiles.

"He's a writer now" Emma informs her friend who laughs

"A cop turned writer?" David shakes his head in disbelief but laughs "Should've known, he was always a creative kid" Emma smiles a part of her happy that David hasn't brought up their past, his focus on the here and now.

"I can't believe she got you here so fast" he admits, Emma's stomach drops. Clearly she'd spoken too soon. "I mean he's been dead less than a week" Emma bites the inside of her cheek before sighing and being honest.

"I was kind of looking to get out of Boston" she admits, hesitating on the smaller details

"Boston?" David blanches "I always thought you'd have been on the other side of the country, not around the corner" Emma can't help her snort, Boston wasn't exactly around the corner from Storybrooke but David was right, it wasn't exactly on the other side of the country either.

"I've moved around a lot" she admits "after things went south with Neal I kinda didn't want to stick around anywhere too long, Boston was one of the few places I almost settled in" She stops herself from saying anymore, knowing that mentioning a pissed off ex would only summon David's protective side. They're conversation moves on quickly and they discuss the finer details of what David had discovered so far.

"So Graham was looking into the disappearance of Eight different people from town" Emma frowns "how does that result in the kind of injuries he was found with, torture doesn't fit that's something you see in larger cities where there's mob activity" Emma frowns "it doesn't make sense" David nods in agreement.

"That's what I thought" Emma could sense there was more than David was saying but she let it go and instead opens the file.

"Do we have a list of the missing?" She asks as she starts to read through the file. When David doesn't answer immediately Emma raises her eyes, sensing the rising tension in the room.

"David?" Emma watches as he shifts awkwardly before looking at her with a mixture of pain and regret on his face.

"One of the first people to go missing was Milah" the name is like a dagger straight through her heart, Emma barely had time to react before his next words slammed into her like a sledgehammer to the chest, stealing her breath.

"She was found alive but later she was killed...Killian was forced to watch" Emma can feel the tears burning her eyes.

"Jesus Christ, David" she has no words to express the pain she felt on behalf of the man who used to be her best friend.

"How could Regina not have told me?" I would have come back Emma doesn't say the words but she doesn't need too both she and David know that even though she ran from him, if he'd ever really needed her Emma would have come back to help Killian in a heartbeat.

"He asked her not to" David takes a deep breath "I'm only telling you now because it changed him Emma. He's not the man you remember, I'm not sure there's anything left of that man." The pain was clear on David's face "Milah and Killian broke up not long after you left, she married another man, had a kid with him" David shakes his head "they found their way back to each other though...but after she died...Killian is obsessed with his vengeance"

"But if he witnessed her death...is the one responsible in jail?" David's expression turns furious in a heartbeat, the fury shocks Emma. It's been over a decade since she's seen him so angry.

"The bastard got off" David growls "If Killian would let me I would have helped him hunt the coward down and-" The phone ringing cut off David, he picks it up and grumbles a response.

"Whale has a report for us" Emma gets to her feet, closing the file and putting it back on David's desk.

"Let's go then" David leads her out to the patrol car and they get in. The ache in her chest doesn't let up, and all Emma can think as David starts up the car is that she should've been here for Killian.

"David..." Her words are hesitant and she wonders if she really wants to know the answer to the question she's about to ask him...

"He's out of town" David assures her, she gives him a small smile. It wasn't the answer she wanted though.

"How long?"

"He left a few days before you got here and before you ask, I don't know when he's coming back." David informs her "We aren't as close as we use to be" Emma keeps her questions to herself, knowing that talking about this subject would only mean revisiting the past.


End file.
